Friday 31 January 2020

A Room of One's Own

A friend gave me a copy of Lisa Taddeo's best-selling Three Women for Christmas. I read it and passed it on to another friend to read, and we have have been talking about it continuously for the past few weeks. Most of our conversation is about the strange appeal of the book, empathy for the three women, and an overwhelming rage against the patriarchy.

Journalist Lisa Taddeo has spent ten years following these women and reporting on the 'true story' of their sexual lives. The book purports to be an exploration of female desire, but it is limited in its scope and is definitely not a story of female empowerment. In choosing these three women, Taddeo is not showcasing a full range of female desire. In fact, these women are more similar than not - each is lonely, submissive and consumed by notions of female sexuality stemming from popular culture.

Maggie was a high school student who was groomed by her teacher. He preyed on her insecurities, played with her emotions, and promptly ghosted her when other teachers questioned the appropriateness of his relationship. Devastated by his absence, Maggie is unable to move forward, drops out of college, pursues a series of dead-end jobs, cannot hold a relationship. Eventually, when she confides in a friend about the relationship, she realises that she was used and attempts to pursue justice in the courts.

Lina is a young mother in a lonely marriage who dreams of a perfect kiss. She remembers her high school boyfriend Aidan and reaches out to him. She believes she loves him and longs for him to love her too, but deep down she knows he is only interested in a booty call. Lina's story was heartbreaking as she goes to extraordinary lengths to please Aidan who is completely unworthy of her affection.

Sloane and her husband Richard own a restaurant together. Slim, beautiful and seemingly together, Sloane submits to Richard's desires. He encourages her to have sex with other people that he chooses for her. He will watch and sometimes join in as part of the threesome. While engaged consensually, Sloane also feels overwhelming guilt and shame.

The book is a bestseller because it contains unvarnished depictions of sex. The voyeurism is more creepy than salacious. Readers will not come away with an understanding of what women want or ideas to spice up your love life. The sex isn't sexy, it is sadly unfulfilling. It purports to be research, but feels more like a gossipy novel. It is an engrossing, page-turning read, but not well written.

These three women are looking for love and belonging. Maggie believes she and her teacher are star-crossed lovers like Bella and Edward in Twilight. Lina's one (unfulfilled) desire is for a long, deep kiss like in The Princess Bride. Sloane sees herself as the submissive in Fifty Shades of Grey. What they actually want is quite simple, but they are involved with unworthy men.

I was hoping that the book would end with some kind of redemption - a realisation by these women that they deserve better, that they can be fulfilled without relinquishing themselves, that they can move on. But, after having their stories published I do not think they will find any release. I can only hope that they move out of middle America and find peace for themselves.